Today, there won’t be a Weigh-In post because I moved my weigh-in day to Tuesday.
First of all, it just sucks that my two regular posts, Weigh-In Day and Caturday, follow up right after each other every week. And then I just figured Tuesdays would suit me better. It sucks to have the weekend ahead when I thought I would be more likely to cheat but actually, I don’t. And I’ve never liked Tuesdays, so I’ll try to put a smile on my face by stepping on the scale in the morning.
What I forgot to say: I added a Challenges page. I love setting goals, challenges and making lists, whether they are about losing weight, what I want to read / watch / do in what time or just bucket lists. Right now, my project is to get down to 130kg or less by Mallorca. There’s even a fancy ticker for that. Oooohhh…
In the long run I hope that, especially with my weight loss, these mini goals will motivate me and keep me going.
There was no time for the gym this morning because I needed to take my mom to the mall and the grocery store before work. I did quite a bit of walking there but I would have preferred the gym as I was full of energy that needed to be let out. I don’t know if I’ll make it after work tomorrow or if I’ll just go on Sunday instead. Part of me things Saturday night will be perfect, when all the party folk is out clubbing and I have the gym to myself. On the other hand, it would probably be hush-hush after work for me and I’d have more energy on Sunday. We’ll see. I’ve made it to 2 times this week which is my goal for now, so I’m already proud. Won’t hurt to go a third time, though.
This week has been slightly more successful than the last. I lost 300g which is something. I know I said I’m not gonna be disappointed by small losses, but it is still a struggle.
The biggest achievement was that I made it back to the gym yesterday. It was a drag and I really, really need to get better. What’s the point in working on my condition, improving it, being able to go faster and longer when I let it go again and then it all collapses like a house of cards?
Also, I thought a lot about my attitude towards sports and work out. I used to feel guilty when I saw others discussing their hobbies, especially on places like MFP. They all claim that working out, Zumba, Yoga, etc. are their hobbies. First of all, I don’t believe that I’m the only one who simply doesn’t enjoy these things. And I don’t think that, just by “changing your lifestyle”, you automatically start enjoying it. Some people may discover that they actually like it but I think the majority of people hates going to the gym or running or doing other exercises regularly and routinely as much as I do. And I’ve come to terms with that. It’s okay not to like it as long as you understand that it is a necessary evil. I’m not saying I’ll suffer and be miserable because of it, it isn’t that bad. But I don’t think I’ll ever get up and think “Yay! I’m going to the gym and spend an hour on a treadmill!” Coming to terms with that is an important step for me so I won’t feel guilty for wishing I was sitting on my couch while I’m working out. Most likely, half the gym will be thinking the same at that time.
I’m sorry for not posting this yesterday as planned but I didn’t really get a moment to sit down and write a post.
The last week was both, a disaster and a success. I had the week off and never even made it to the gym. Which is fine considering that I already planned to take time off from work and other things when I’m on vacation.
What wasn’t so cool was that I also let myself go with the eating and the not logging. I think the logging is the main problem. If I get better at that and actually see the calories I’ve consumed black on white on MFP, I’ll automatically eat less because I’ll think twice before eating that ice cream or cake or crisps.
Anyway, I pained for it with a 800g gain. Not cool.
But there were also good thing. First was the booked vacation in September, of course. That led to me going shopping on Thursday, aiming for a swimsuit. Yes, I am gonna bloody get into the pool, maybe even the ocean. I haven’t worn a swimsuit in about ten years and past vacations were spent avoiding the pool like the plague. But now I figured what the hell?! Who cares who sees me? I won’t ever see those people again. Still, shopping for one seemed a bit like a nightmare. I had one from H&M on my mind (that turquoise patterned one?!) but ended up buying the black version of it instead because it looks a lot posher. And also because the turquoise wasn’t available in my size. Which turned out to be a devastating 54, the biggest one. I used to be down to a 48 and looking forward to shopping outside the plus size department! That came as another wake up call (how many do I need?). I’m gonna try to lose as much weight and shape up as much as possible until Mallorca. Which may lead to the suit being loose but HAHA, I’m smart and I have an old smaller one just in case. Although my new, pretty one is shaped so nicely that it’d still look good, I’m sure. And, if I do say so, I don’t look so bad in it. I’m no Beyoncé but it’s not a nightmare like I thought it’d be.
I used to have a weight loss blog on Livejournal. I enjoyed blogging about my progress but I’ve also noticed that I keep making separate blogs for several aspects of my life and ultimately, that’s what I’ve done all my life. Tell different people different things about me, sharing different things in different places, always keeping things separate from each other so nothing ever reflects the whole of me. I could go into depth of why that may be now but that’s not my point here. What I want to do is merge my life a bit more. I’m still keeping my book blog because that really isn’t a personal blog and it is written in German, too. But everything else belongs into this blog because this is me.
As I’ve mentioned before, Friday is my weigh-in day. So the plan is to report about my progress here every Friday, good or bad, reflect on why the week was easy to complete or a struggle, write about new things I’ve tried or tasted. We’ll see how that goes but I do these things in my head anyway so why not write them down?
I always step on the scale in the morning before I’ve had breakfast. Some people are really petty about it and wait until they’ve been to the toilet but I’m not that detailed about it. Usually, I use the toilet first thing out of habit anyway but on mornings when I don’t, I still hop on the scale. I know this may alter the result a tiny bit in either direction but I don’t want to obsess about it all too much. And today, I was happy anyway. I lost 0.8kg, making it a total of 2.2kg. Seems like it really is baby steps for me but I’m used to that by now. Many weeks, I don’t make it beyond 0.2kg, so today felt great.
Admittedly, the past week made it easy for me to stick to my new calories (which I lowered to 1,700 by the way). It is a home office week and I spent most of it at home. Despite not having to boot the laptop before 2pm, I got up early, had proper breakfast and prepared healthy, low cal lunch. I didn’t work out which I know is silly. I’ll never get into a good routine if I only go once in a blue moon. I really need to think of something because it is not the workout that puts me off but the long way to the gym. It’s hard to integrate gym time into my schedule when getting to and from the place takes me so long. Maybe I’ll see if there’s another gym that’s easier and quicker to reach. It doesn’t help that losing weight is so easy and possible without working out, either. My mind tries to tell me it doesn’t matter but I’ll regret it when I’ve lost weight but still look unfit. But for today, I’m happy about the loss.