This Is Personal

New blog design, yay. Not sure if I really like the background, though. It’s cute and fits the subtitle but I think I’ll look for something nicer eventually.

The header picture, though, is important. It’s my favorite picture from Mallorca and it’s supposed to remind me to travel more, do more for myself, do what I need to do and not always consider other people’s interests so much.

I still get so affected by things people say and do. I feel abandoned so often, judged so much, unloved a lot. Sometimes it’s for a reason. Like lately, people often just push me to the sideline. I make it so easy for them because I just don’t complain anymore. It’s never led to anything good so I’ve given up on anything that might cause unnecessary trouble. But this probably makes people think that I don’t mind. I do mind but what can you do?

I also still find it hard to dress and act out of my comfort zone. So I vowed to myself to buy more clothes that are not jeans and t-shirts. I’d seen a gorgeous jumpsuit that I’d tried on a few weeks ago but didn’t buy (because “what would people say?”). Yesterday, I realized how dumb that was and went back to buy the thing. Only it was sold out (boo!). Unhappy as I was, I didn’t want to leave without buying anything so I tried on another jumpsuit and a dress. And I absolutely loved both. I considered buying both but that may have been too much of a splurge. The instant I put the dress on, I was completely smitten. I had only taken it into the changing rooms with me for a laugh, thinking I’d look completely ridiculous in it. It’s floaty and it’s short and it has flowers on it. Just three of the many reasons why I thought I could never pull that stunt off. But I put it on and – wow! I absolutely love it. It makes me look slimmer, it makes my boobs look less gigantic without flattening them, it actually creates a gorgeous waist for me…

I think I’ll go back for the jumpsuit when I get paid, though. It’s so rare that I find things I like myself in.

And hopefully, the dress I ordered from Modcloth will arrive soon, too. I’m so in love with that store, it isn’t even funny anymore. They have the cutest dresses. It’s hard not to give in and place another order before the other even arrives.

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Categories: Me Myself and I | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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