The real tragedy of my life is that I absolutely love mornings but I absolutely hate getting up in the morning.
Once I’m up and awake, it’s great. I love being outside in the morning, smelling the fresh air, feeling the slight chill, hearing the world come to life. I like to think that every morning holds a whole lot of promises for the rest of the day. There are so many surprises in store for you. The weather and the temperatures are still undecided, only giving you a subtle hint of what it’s gonna be like for the rest of the day. There are only few people out and about, so the noises of the city aren’t really filling the air yet. Instead, you can hear birds singing, insects buzz, leaves rustle in the breeze. People who are already awake and starting their day are either the positive morning people kind or they’re still too sleepy to be moody, so everyone’s really friendly and polite and everyone just agrees that they’re still excited for this new day and the opportunities it will present for them. Hardly anyone has experienced anything bad so early in the morning, so people just didn’t get a chance to get grumpy, yet.
The sad part is I rarely get to experience that. My mind can process all this and decide that it would be good for me to get up early, go out and do things to start the day on a good note. My body, however, cannot. If it’s a day like today when I have to be up and at work early, I don’t really get a choice. But my body still rebels against it. I’m tired and not really alert. My stomach feels queasy and stuck between hunger and nausea. My head aches and throbs and begs to be sent back to bed.
I’ve tried to change my routine and sleeping pattern but no matter what I do, mornings just aren’t my time of day, it seems. It doesn’t matter if I get up early for a longer period of time or change my sleeping pattern every day. On top of this, my shifts at work keep changing almost weekly, so keeping up a steady routine is hard, if not impossible. I could still get up early before a late shaft but that would mean going straight to bed when I get home. Which I’ve tried but my body cannot unwind this quickly. It needs an hour or two of television, talking to friends, randomly surfing the web and maybe a snack before it can relax enough to sleep. Not to mention that depending on my shifts, my activity level changes throughout the days. On gym / exercise days, I sometimes go before work, sometimes after work. Sometimes it’s early afternoon when I get to exercise, sometimes it’s after nightfall.
I don’t know if it would be easier / possible for me to become a morning person if I had a steadier routine. I heard that it’s something you’re born with and that it’s very hard to change, although I wonder how people adjust to new time zones then, unless it’s a daylight or hours between waking and becoming energized thing. But I guess unless there’s a change of jobs somewhere in my near or not-so-near future, I won’t find out.
On a bit of a worried note, I have a bad feeling about this week’s weigh-in. I still feel heavy and have started to believe that it may be related to whatever is wrong with my stomach. I guess I’ll find out what that is all about on Friday.
I don’t want to leave this entry on a bad note, though, so I’ll add that my friend and I have made plans for getting tattooed together in October. It’ll be a tiny thing and I won’t share what it is yet but OMG, I’m excited!