I went back to the gym yesterday. This time the long break didn’t happen because I was too lazy or kept making excuses but because by mid-January, I started to feel ashamed. I was so afraid of running right into my trainer, or anyone else who remembered my face. I kept saying I’d go tomorrow, this week, next weekend… And it never happened because I always chickened out, even though I was itching to go. For a while I considered giving up on the gym and using some online service or app. But I know that won’t surface for me because I enjoy using the machines at the gym a lot more and it feels more like doing something. To me, anyway.
So on Monday, I finally decided to get my butt into gear again, suck it up and get over it. So before I went to bed, I packed my gym bag so I wouldn’t have an excuse in the morning. Getting and staying motivated throughout the work day was the worst because things just suck at the office and every afternoon, I just want to go home. But I kept telling myself that nope, this time I wouldn’t chicken out.
In true Kathy fashion, of course I ran into my trainer the first thing when I arrived because he was working at the check-in. Of course. He gave me this weird look like “Do I know her?” and then kept looking at me like that each time I passed the counter. I was starting to feel relieved like maybe he really didn’t recognise me or hadn’t realised that I hadn’t come back for ages. But just when I felt safe and I was done and went back to check out, he definitely recognised me and was all like “So…how was it?”, throwing me off guard. And I just mumbled something along the lines of “Really, really exhausting.” So he smirks and goes, “Well, it’s hard to get back into it, so you better stick with it this time!” Ugh! Awkward!
But at least that’s done and over with. And the workout was really, really good. Of the “Damn, my lungs hurt, but I’ll just keep going!”-variety. The circle training went amazingly well, even though the muscles in my arms were screaming by the end of it.
And one of my closest friends also joined a gym again. We live 800km apart, so it’s not like we can actually, physically go together but we have ‘mental gym dates’ and tell each other about it which helps a little bit.
I’m also trying to watch what I eat a little bit more again. Not just counting calories but try to eat better and healthier. A co-worker let me borrow a vegan cook book with healthy recipes the other day and some of them sound really good. I tried the first recipe today, vegan sundae ice cream to feed my munchies. The original recipe is from Vegan for Youth by Attila Hildmann, in which he pretty much just mashes frozen bananas. But that proved to be really difficult for me and my cheap blender, so I added about 50ml of almond milk. And since I wanted some other taste than plain banana, I also added two teaspoons of peanut butter (for two bananas). When I was done blending and mixing, it was a little too soft and warm for my taste, so I put it back in the freezer and we’ll see how it turns out then. I know it doesn’t look too tempting in the picture but the taste was really nice. But I have to say, using a hand blender, it was really, really hard work to get the bananas all mashed and creamy. I think I almost screwed up the device, too. It’s a really cheap one, so I wouldn’t be surprised and it’s probably easier using high quality appliances but damn, those bananas were tough!