You’re Not As Messed Up As You Think You Are

Two things happened this week that made me feel a whole lot better…

First thing was Frank Turner. After giving myself a little pep talk, I drove out to Cologne to see him on Monday night. Now, I don’t know what happened, I used to go to so many gigs and get excited about them. Nowadays, I often just tell myself it isn’t worth it. Frank Turner is one of the few artists that I wouldn’t want to miss. And after a friend of mine actually helped me to be able to get tickets after I’d waited too long and it was sold out, there really was no excuse.

He played in a venue I hadn’t been to before. The thing about Cologne is that I can go to as many gigs in as many places as I like, as soon as I think I’ve seen them all, a new one I’ve never been to pops up out of nowhere. This one is called Kulturkirche and the word “Kirche” (German for church) really was correct as it was a little church, complete with Christian decoration and Bible verses on the walls. I’m not a religious person and the last time I’ve been inside a church for anything other than sightseeing is so long ago that I can’t remember. But I love churches. Their architecture, their decoration, the colorful windows…it’s beautiful and creepy at the same time. I’ve never been to a concert inside one, though. Now that I can say I have, I find it incredibly fitting. Maybe not for all bands and all genres but it was the perfect setting for Frank Turner. The sound was just amazing and the whole setting with all the wood and the low stage added its own atmosphere.

Most of all, however, Frank did what he does best: lifting me up. He’s just so positive and fun and he makes me smile in a way that no other artist or band, even AFI, can. You can tell he’s just doing what he loves and there’s no act or show to it. He isn’t cool but it doesn’t matter to him at all. In a way he’s the kind of person everyone should want to be. And once again, he taught me that it is okay to just be who you are. Just like he doesn’t need a big show, I don’t need to be someone I’m not just to impress others.

The second thing that happened I have to admit I was less positive about at first. The morning after the concert, I had to get up early and go to my doctor. I’m torn about her. She doesn’t exactly seem professional in a lot of ways, her practice is closed about 30 weeks of the year and she’s never made an informed diagnose. So I’ve wanted to change doctors for a while. But on Tuesday, for the first time, she actually made an effort to really figure out what’s going on and she’s basically taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I had blood tests done a couple weeks ago and she said that they showed her that my thyroid activity was still way too low. And that’s basically the answer to all my unasked questions. It’s the reason why I can’t seem to lose weight, even when I’m trying really, really hard. And it’s also the reason why I feel so weak and lethargic on some days. She said she’s gonna help me get the activity up to the highest level without it being harmful and that should actually support the weight loss and me feeling better. I wanted to hug her. But I didn’t because right after that she said she’ll be on holiday for two weeks now and that made me envious. Haha.

So I promised myself that I would get better with the medical check-ups. I need to go in for more tests in a few months to see if it got any better.

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Categories: Me Myself and I, Music is my boyfriend | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “You’re Not As Messed Up As You Think You Are

  1. The concert in the church sounds great – I bet that was an ideal venue, would imagine the acoustics were amazing? Well done you for going!

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