I’m failing so hard with all my workout plans. Number of times I’ve made it to the gym this year so far: Zero. Number of times I’ve worked out at home: Zero. Number of times I’ve said I’d go and / or made big plans with friends: Three Kazillion!

So far this year I’ve lost one pound. One pound! Now, don’t get me wrong, a pound itself is cool. Imagine a pound of butter. Quite heavy, right? But 2013 is almost two months old now and losing a pound in two months is…not a lot.

Brunette again!

Brunette again!

In order to motivate myself to do something for myself and break this cycle of loneliness, I’ve changed my hair color. You know what us girls are like, changing our hair always works as a symbol for something. In my case, I just got so used to the old ginger color that I think I just stopped caring about my looks again. I rarely made myself up anymore or cared about dressing in nice clothes. So I went back to being a brunette. But I’m not sure if I really like it. I think it turned out too dark. I know it suits me because I’ve been there before but I think it may be not the right color for this time of year. It’s a gorgeous shade in the sunlight, when the light gets reflected and catches the different colors and shades in there but now, in all this dull and grey weather, it just looks equally dull. Of course, I may be biased. I’m not a big fan of myself right now. I haven’t gained weight again but because I never lose any, I feel bloated and ugly. Whenever I lose a tiny bit, like that pound, it feels like I’ve dropped three clothing sizes and I can look at myself in the mirror without feeling this way, so I’m sure it’s all in my head. But meh…

I don’t know, I don’t know…

I’m trying to think of new ways to motivate myself to do more. Not just work out but “move” more. I’m sure it’d help if I spent less time sitting on my butt. Even if I just start by going for a walk in my 30 minutes break, say, twice a week. Or otherwise spend half an hour a day something something. Go for a walk, work out, clean something… It’s not gonna burn off thousands of calories but it’d be a start. I just feel like I’m taking smaller and smaller steps and I’m never gonna get anywhere with this.

Categories: Me Myself and I | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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